Life as Night

this is just something i wrote a few nights ago.

Life as Night

I put a dark, starry blanket
On the world
Calling out
“ Go to sleep”
“Its time for bed”
I pull back the covers
At dawn
Calling out
“It is time to wake up”
“Get up, it’s a new day”
Waiting yet another day
I sit content
Waiting
For the next time
To put the world back
To bed

Comments & reviews · 15
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Ladyequine91
Comment

it seems like i just met you a few days ago and now you have evovled into this famous writer...*sniff* i dont know what to say! *wipes another tear* soon you will fly away from this nest and leave us all in your dust, how sad will that be!?!?!?!? just joking, you know i love ya!

thank you madame *bows*

User avatar
Ladyequine91
Review

that was really good! i...i dont really know what to say, the ending was great, and you put some really great images into your writing...*wipes a tear from eye* i am so proud of you *sniff sniff* :lol:

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xanthan gum
Comment

a few grammer and spelling mistakes, i believe, but relatively simple, cute and, all around, clean.

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Angel17
Review

I think because your poem was short, it made it better. This was great my favourite part was

To put the world back
To bed


This line was a really good ending. Also the first line such wonderful imagery. :D

yea, missed that lol.

User avatar
zelithon
Comment

Very good other than that you had waiting for a new day once the new day had already come, catch my drift?

thank you, very much valor, i've almost forgotten about this, thank you, and speaking about bed, i should probably go there its about 11 pm big day at school tomorrow, thank you for all of your comments

I was going to quote just the parts I liked the most, and then I realised I was actually quoting the whole thing. I loved it. It's perfect, don't change a thing.

Calling out
“ Go to sleep”
“Its time for bed”

If I had to pick that would be my favourite part. "Calling out..." Now it's gonna be stuck in my head! Great poem. :wink:

whats wrong with weird...everybdoy else is :D

User avatar
Darkmoon158
Comment

Blizzard you are soooo weird. But alas I loved it too. I never did anything like that. My poems always end up being a narrative story-like poem.

*bows* thank you, thank you, o too kind, i'll be here all week *slowly walks off stage*.

User avatar
Lollipop
Comment

Hey! This is sooo cool! Short but sweet!

~Lollipop~

wow, thanks :D . i just studied about inertia in scince class(has to do with newton and physics). cool :wink:

Simple, yet good. After i read it i thought to myself that maybe it would be better if it were longer. Then i realized that if it were longer it wouldnt make it better at all, actually quite the opposite. So leave it, dont change a word. Great work. :)



I would be a terrible novel protagonist.
— mellifera